I Love Lamp: 25 Anchorman Quotes We Love

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Funniest Anchorman Quotes

About Anchorman (2004)

It is arguable that in 2004, true comedy was born in San Diego, California! This grandiose presentation rotating around TV anchor personalities in the 70s is a gold mine. Duh, California! Anchorman was directed by Adam McKay, and written by Will Ferrell and Adam McKay. The film stars Will Ferrell (Ron Burgundy), Steve Carrell (Brick Tamland), Paul Rudd (Brian Fantana), Christina Applegate (Veronica Corningstone), David Koechner (Champ Kind), and many more.

Admittedly I would run this whole movie as a quote because it has that kind of place in my heart, but for you all, I’ll give you my twenty-five favorites. Some will make you laugh, some cry, and others will have you pondering the majesty of life. By the end of these Anchorman quotes, we might even get ourselves an apartment together and wear the finest of suits. Just do me a favor and don’t put question marks in the teleprompter.

RELATED: Fold In The Cheese: The Funniest Moira Rose Quotes

Anchorman Quotes

“Ladies and Gentlemen, can I please have your attention? I’ve just been handed an urgent and horrifying news story and I need all of you to stop what you’re doing and listen. CANNONBALL!” – Ron Burgundy

“How are you? You look awfully nice tonight. Maybe don’t wear a bra next time.” – Ron Burgundy

News Opener: You’re watching Channel 4 News with 5-time Emmy award-winning anchor Ron Burgundy and Tits McGee!
Veronica Corningstone: Good evening, San Diego. I’m Veronica Corningstone, Tits McGee is on vacation.

Party Goer: I’ve got a big story for you and it’s right here *touches chest*
Ron: Well hello! You pointed to your boobies.
Brian Fantana: Oh my god you did!

Ron: Come again?
(Baxter barking)
Ron: You know I don’t speak Spanish, in English, please!

Brian: It’s called Sex Panther by Odion it’s illegal in nine countries. Yep, it’s made with bits of real panther, so you know it’s good.
Ron: It’s quite pungent.
Brian: Oh yea.
Ron: It’s a formidable scent. Stings the nostrils, in a good way.
Brian (applying cologne): Yea
Ron: Brian I’m going to be honest with you, that smells like pure gasoline.
Brian: 60% of the time it works, every time.
Ron: That doesn’t make sense.

Bullpen Editor: What is that? It smells like a turd covered in burnt hair
Bullpen Editor 2: Smells like Big Foot’s dick!

“You have an absolutely breathtaking hiney. I mean that thing’s good.”- Ron Burgundy

Ron: So I pick you up at 8 o’clock? 9?
Veronica points downward.
Ron: Downstairs?
Veronica: Mr. Burgundy you have a massive erection
Ron: I’m Sorry, it’s the pleats.

Ron: Brick, Where’d you get a hand grenade?
Brick: I don’t know.

“Loud noises!” – Brick Tamland

Brick: I love desk.
Ron: Brick are you just looking at things in the office and saying that you love them?
Brick: I love lamp.
Ron: Do you really love the lamp or are you just saying it because you saw it?
Brick: I love lamp, I love lamp.

“I read somewhere that their periods attract bears. Bears can smell the menstruation.” – Brick

Ed Harken: In addition, a lot of you have been hearing affiliates complaining about a lack of diversity on the news team.
Champ: What in the hell is diversity?
Ron (clearing throat): Well I could be wrong, but I believe diversity is an old, old wooden ship that was used during the Civil War era.
Ed: Ron, I would be surprised if the affiliates were concerned about the lack of an old, old wooden ship. But nice try.

(Baxter barking)
Ron: Huh? You pooped in the refrigerator? And you ate the whole wheel of cheese? How’d you do that? Actually, I’m not even mad that’s amazing.

Wes Mantooth: Hey, nice clothes gentleman. I didn’t know the Salvation Army was having a sale. Am I right, am I right? Look at these guys!
Brick: Hey. Where did you get those clothes.. at the toilet store?

Champ: I will smash your face into a car windshield and then take your mother, Dorothy Mantooth out for a nice seafood dinner, and never call her again.
Wes: Dorothy Mantooth is a saint!

Champ: I woke up this morning and I shit a squirrel. I mean it, literally. Hell of it is, damn thing is still alive. So I got this shit-covered squirrel down in the office, don’t know what to name it.
Brick: Oh I’m sorry Champ, I think I ate your chocolate squirrel.

“And I’m Ron Burgundy. Go Fuck Yourself, San Diego.”- Ron Burgundy

Courting Attempts With Veronica Corningstone

Champ: Let me just grab this, oh, sorry about that, Whammy!
Veronica: Uh, Champ?
Champ: Yea?
Veronica: You’re trying to touch my breasts, aren’t you?
Champ: What can I say? I like the way you’re put together. What do you say we go out on a date…have some chicken, maybe some sex, you know see what happens.
Veronica: Oh, let me get this over here. *punches Champ in the genitals*Sorry. Oh, there it is.

Brian: Hey Sweet Cheeks, got an invite I’d like to extend your way.
Veronica: Oh my god, what is that smell? Ugh!
Brian: That’s the smell of desire, m’lady.
Veronica: God, no, it smells like a used diaper filled with Indian food. Excuse me.
Brian: You know, desire smells like that to some people.

Brick (pretending to cough): Cough. Look over here.
Brick (no longer pretending to cough): Excuse me, Veronica.
Veronica: Yes, what is it, Brick?
Brick: I would like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party.
Veronica: Excuse me?
Brick: The party. The pants with the pants. The party with pants.
Veronica: Brick are you saying that there’s a party in your pants and that I’m invited?
Brick: That’s it!
Veronica: Did Brian tell you to say this Brick?
Brick: Yes.
Veronica: Okay. No, I don’t want to go to a party in your pants.

Anchor Introductions

“People call me the Bri Man, I’m the stylish one in the group. I know what you’re asking yourself and the answer is yes: I have a nickname for my penis. It’s called the Octagon. But I also nicknamed my testes, my left one is James Westfall and my right one is Dr. Kenneth Noisewater. You ladies play your cards right, you just might get to meet the whole gang!” – Brian Fantana

“Champ here! I’m all about having fun. You know get a couple cocktails in me, start a fire in someone’s kitchen, maybe go to SeaWorld, take my pants off. Anyway I’ve become kind of famous for my signature catchphrase “Whammy!”. As In Gene Tenace at the plate and…WHAMMY!…Whammy!” – Champ Kind

“I’m Brick Tamland. People seem to like me because I’m polite and I’m rarely late. I like to eat ice cream and I really enjoy a nice pair of slacks. Years later a doctor will tell me that I have an IQ of 48 and am what some people call mentally retarded” – Brick Tamland

What Are Your Favorite Anchorman Quotes?

Thank you for looking through the collection of our finest Anchorman Quotes, suited up! Do you think we squired them about town properly or was milk still a bad choice? Let us know on social media!

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