Superstore: Garrett’s 11 Best PA Announcements

Attention Cloud 9 Shoppers!

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Superstore Garrett Announcements

Garrett is one of the best characters on Superstore. His chill and sarcastic demeanor plays well against the crazy cast of characters. He is often the ground for many of the ego-driven and delusional employees. That said, he has his fair share of crazy moments as well. Colton Dunn absolutely kills it in this role.

Today, we want to discuss our favorite Garrett announcements from Superstore. If we missed any of your favorites, let us know on social media!

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Best Garrett Annoucements

“Attention, shoppers, even a big box store has to close, and it’s about that time. You know, when Pandora closed her famous box there was only one thing left inside: hope. I wonder what will be left inside of this box. Could it be Grace? I hope not. If you’re Grace’s parents, please come pick her up at customer service.” – Garrett McNeill

The best part of this announcement is the look on Grace’s face. She is totally in on the joke with Garrett.

“Attention Cloud 9 shoppers, be sure to stop by the grocery for a free sample of Senor Cloud Salsa, and in the pharmacy, get yourself a flu shot. Available in medium, mild, ‘Aye Yai Yai Picante’, and…I’m almost positive that was written down wrong.” – Garrett McNeill

Who wouldn’t love a picante flu shot? That sounds a lot better than a regular flu shot. This is just one of many comments Garrett makes on Cloud 9’s incompetence.

“Attention shoppers, theres a forty percent off sale in our exercise gear section, which will be closing next week due to lack of interest.” – Garrett McNeill

“Attention Cloud 9 shoppers, apparently Black Friday has begun. From all of us here at Cloud 9, have a great Purge!” – Garrett McNeill

People go crazy on Black Friday. That is one thing that I do not miss about working retail, you know, other than, working retail in general.

“Attention Cloud 9 shoppers, today is Cloud 9’s wellness fair, where we’re offering vision tests, blood pressure screenings, and tips on living your best, healthiest life. Why go to a doctor when you can get medical advice from the same place you get dish soap?” – Garrett McNeill

Hey now. If I could get a physical done while getting groceries, that is a win-win for me. It’s all about efficiency.

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“Attention Cloud 9 employees, I am fine! Dina did not break up with me, and actually, if you want to get real about it, it was my idea. I was trying to be a nice guy. So if you want to feel bad for somebody, feel bad for Dina, because she’s the one seeing a shrink. That was something I shouldn’t have said. Sorry about that. Please pretend you didn’t hear that. Have a good day.” – Garrett McNeill

Everyone loves the ‘will they, won’t they’ relationship between Jonah and Amy. However, Garrett and Dina is really where it’s at.

“Attention Cloud 9 shoppers, there is a carbon monoxide leak in the store. It’s the silent killer, so you’re going to want to go!” – Garrett McNeill

I love that Cloud 9 has Garrett tell the customers to evacuate, but the employees must keep working. One thing I love about Superstore is the social commentary on the treatment of the corporate workforce.

“Attention shoppers, Cloud 9 is not offering breast exams as part of our wellness fair. We have not hired someone to do that, and if we had, it would not be a teenage boy in a Twenty One Pilots t-shirt. Shop safe.” – Garrett McNeill

I’ve had breast exams from people with much worse taste in music. However, Garrett does have a point there.

“Attention Cloud 9 shoppers, this weekend is Mother’s Day. I don’t know your mother, but given what women have gone through this past year I think it’s pretty safe to say…she needs this!” – Garrett McNeill

Man, this quote hits harder now than when the episode first aired.

“Attention Cloud 9 shoppers, it’s really coming down out there. Now, I’m not a licensed meteorologist, but I believe the technical term is ‘Snowy AF’. For anyone stocking up, we are limiting all water purchases to one case per person, and that does include coconut water, watermelon water, cucumber water, aloe water, probiotic water, and electric water, which is something I just made up but you probably got all excited about.” – Garrett McNeill

Electric water may not be a thing, but people are now very excited about PH-enhanced electrolyte water. Did Garrett predict the future in this episode?

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“Attention all remaining customers, the governor has declared a state of emergency. Customers are advised to get home before conditions worsen, which begs the question: What about employees, who also drive cars, and also have families and/or video games to get home to?” – Garrett McNeill

Sometimes you have kids that you need to go take care of. Sometimes you have Dark Souls to go take care of. When you boil it down, it’s really the same thing.

Garrett Announcements Superstore

What Are Your Favorite Garrett Announcements From Superstore?

We hope you enjoyed the list of our favorite Garrett announcements from Superstore. Did we miss any of your favorites? Let us know on social media!

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