About The Simpsons’ Treehouse of Horror Specials
Everyone has their all time favorite quotes from The Simpsons. So much so that I have plenty of friends who have incorporated a variety of lines from The Simpsons into their everyday speak. Although, to me, nothing is quite as special like when Matt Groening and Co give their yearly riff on famous horrific horror and creepy sci-fi films.
Here’s our all time favourite Simpsons quotes from a range of Treehouse of Horror Specials from over the years.
Best Treehouse of Horror Quotes
“Mr. Pote, Homer Simpson here. When you sold me this house, you forgot to mention one little thing. You didn’t tell me it was built on an Indian burial ground! [pause] NO, YOU DIDN’T! [pause] Well, that’s not my recollection. [pause] Yeah, well… all right. Good-bye. [hangs up the phone and turns to Marge] He says he mentioned it five or six times.” – Homer Simpson, Treehouse of Horror I
The House: They are all against you Bart. You must kill them all. They all must die!
Bart: Are you my conscience?
The House: I… yes, I am.
“It chose to destroy itself rather then live with us. You can’t help but feel a little rejected.” – Homer Simpson, Treehouse of Horror I
Kang: On this cable system we receive over one million channels from the furthest reaches of the galaxy.
Bart: Do you get HBO?
Kang: No, that would cost extra.
“This family has had its differences and we’ve squabbled, but we’ve never had knife fights before.”
– Marge Simpson, Treehouse of Horror I
“We offered you paradise. You would have experienced emotions a hundred times greater than what you call ‘Love’. And a thousand times greater than what you call “Fun”. You would have been treated like Gods, and lived forever in beauty, but now, because of your distrustful nature, that can never be.”
– Kang, Treehouse of Horror I
“All right I’ll make a wish that can’t possibly backfire. I wish for a turkey sandwich, on rye bread, with mustard, and I don’t want any zombie turkeys, I don’t want to turn into a turkey myself or any other weird surprises, you got that?” – Homer Simpson, Treehouse of Horror II
“Oh, Smithers, I was wrong to play God. Life is precious, not a thing to be toyed with. Now take out that brain and flush it down the toilet!” – Mr Burns, Treehouse of Horror II
Marge Simpson: Did you have a nightmare, Homey?
Homer Simpson: No, Bart bit me!
Bart Simpson: Hey man, you were crushing me! I tried to scream, but my mouth was full of flab.
“Oh, that fellow at Radio Shack said I was mad! Well, who’s mad now? Muwahahaha!”
– Mr Burns, Treehouse of Horror II
“Well, class, the history of our country has been changed again, to correspond to Bart’s answers on yesterday’s test. American was now discovered in nineteen-forty-two, by… some guy. And our country isn’t called ‘America’ anymore, it’s… ‘Bonerland.'”
– Edna Krabappel, Treehouse of Horror II
Ned Flanders: Hey, Simpson. I’m feeling a mite peckish. Mind if I chew your ear?
[Homer kills Flanders by blasting him apart with a shotgun as Marge gasps in shock]
Bart Simpson: Dad! You killed the zombie Flanders.
Homer Simpson: He was a zombie?
“There goes the last lingering threat of my heterosexuality.” – Patty Bouvier, Treehouse of Horror III
“The doll’s trying to kill me and the toaster’s been laughin’ at me!”
– Homer Simpson, Treehouse of Horror III
“You know, you look a little flushed. Maybe you should eat more vegetables and less people.”
– Marge Simpson, Treehouse of Horror III
Marge Simpson: Anybody know a ghost story?
Lisa Simpson: I do! It’s a story of a boy and his doll.
Homer Simpson: That’s not so scary.
Lisa Simpson: A doll, from Hell.
Homer Simpson: I’m gonna go to the store.
[Lisa laughs evilly]
[reading a note] “‘Dear Homer, I.O.U. one emergency donut. Signed, Homer.’ Bastard! He’s always one step ahead!” – Homer Simpson, Treehouse of Horror IV
“Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?” – Homer Simpson, Treehouse of Horror IV
“Homer, we gotta do something. Today he’s drinking people’s blood, tomorrow he could be smoking!” – Marge Simpson, Treehouse of Horror IV
[Lisa takes a sip from her chalice and gasps]
Lisa Simpson: Ew! Dad, this is blood!
Homer Simpson: Correction. FREE blood.
“Mmmm… forbidden donut.” – Homer Simpson, Treehouse of Horror IV
“Now, I’ve got the word that a child is using his imagination and I’ve come to put a stop to it.”
– Principal Skinn, Treehouse of Horror IV
Bart Simpson: Come join us, Lisa, it’s so cool. You get to stay up all night drinking blood.
Milhouse: And if you say you’re a vampire, you get a free small soda at the movies.
“Bart, stop pestering Satan.” – Marge Simpson, Treehouse of Horror IV
“Well, if it isn’t little… erm, boy!” – Mr Burns, Treehouse of Horror IV
“That’s odd. Usually the blood gets off at the second floor.” – Mr Burns, Treehouse of Horror V
“I’m going to enjoy devouring you, Bart Simpson. Yes… I believe I’ll start, as you’ve so often suggested, by eating your shorts.” – Principal Skinner, Treehouse of Horror V
“I’ve gone back in time to when dinosaurs weren’t just confined to zoos.”
– Homer Simpson, Treehouse of Horror V
“Now, incase all that smiling didn’t cheer you up, there’s one thing that never fails: nice glass of warm milk, a little nap, and a total frontal lobotomy!” – Ned Flanders, Treehouse of Horror V
Ned Flanders: Just relax, let the hooks do their work.
Homer Simpson: What the hell are you smiling at?
“That’s weird, it’s like something out of that twilighty show about that zone.”
– Homer Simpson, Treehouse of Horror VI
“This place looks expensive. I feel like I’m wasting a fortune just standing here. I better make the most of it.” – Homer Simpson, Treehouse of Horror VI
“Oh my God, space aliens! Don’t eat me, I have a wife and kids! Eat them!”
– Homer Simpson, Treehouse of Horror VII
“Don’t blame me, I voted for Kodos.” – Homer Simpson, Treehouse of Horror VII
“My fellow Americans. As a young boy, I dreamed of being a baseball; but tonight I say, we must move forward, not backward; upward, not forward; and always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom!”
– Homer Simpson, Treehouse of Horror VII
“These candidates make me want to vomit in terror.” – Homer Simpson, Treehouse of Horror VII
“We are travelers from a nearby ringed planet of which we prefer not to name.”
– Homer Simpson, Treehouse of Horror VII
“Aquaman, you cannot marry a woman without gills. You’re from two different worlds! Oohh, I’ve wasted my life…” – Comic Book Guy, Treehouse of Horror VIII
“Good evening, I am Kent Brockman. Our top story: “Punks and Lots of Them.” – Kent Brockman, Treehouse of Horror VIII
Lenny: Come on Homer, we just wanna eat your skin.
Homer Simpson: Go to hell, cloaky!
Freddy Krueger: I don’t get it. They should be here by now.
Jason Voorhees: Ah, what are you gonna do?
“Holy fleurking schnit!” – Kang, Treehouse of Horror IX
“Wow! If your fly weren’t open, you’d look just like Roger Moore!”
– Marge Simpson, Treehouse of Horror IX
“Oh, you look lovely this evening. Have you decreased in mass?” – Kang, Treehouse of Horror IX
“We’ll return after ‘How Dracula Got His Groove Back.'” – TV Announcer, Treehouse of Horror IX
“Oh, god you smokers disgust me. Hey ‘Pu, you got a breakfast cereal for people with syphilis?”
– Moe, Treehouse of Horror IX
“Stop right there! I have the only working phaser ever built. It was fired only once to keep William Shatner from making another album.” – Comic Book Guy, Treehouse of Horror X
Homer: I am the piano genius from the movie “Shine”.
Guard: And your name is…?
Homer: Uhh… Shiney McShine.
“Lisa, I want you to remember me just as I am right now, filled with murderous rage.”
– Homer Simpson, Treehouse of Horror X
[Homer and Bart are on a spaceship listening to Rosie O’Donnell sing]
Bart Simpson: Don’t worry, Dad. We’ll be dead in five minutes.
Homer Simpson: Not fast enough!
“The sun? That’s the hottest place on Earth.” – Homer Simpson, Treehouse of Horror X
“Look at the wonders of the computer age now.” – Lisa Simpson, Treehouse of Horror X
“People, please. We’re all frightened and horny, but we can’t let some killer dolphins keep us from living and scoring!” – Mayor Quimby, Treehouse of Horror XI
“We can outsmart those dolphins. Don’t forget – we invented computers, leg warmers, bendy straws, peel-and-eat shrimp, the glory hole, and the pudding cup.”
– Homer Simpson, Treehouse of Horror XI
Dr. Hibbert: Another broccoli-related death.
Marge: But I thought broccoli was…
Dr. Hibbert: Oh yes. One of the deadliest plants on earth. It tries to warn you itself with its terrible taste.
“Ah, alcohol and night-swimming. It’s a winning combination.” – Lenny, Treehouse of Horror XI
Kang: Can you believe it, Kodos? They left us out of the Halloween show
Kodos: Are you sure the space phone is working?
[Kang tries it]
Kodos: Hang up, they could be trying to call right now!
Kang: I knew we should have sent them a muffin basket.
“Mmmm… unexplained bacon.” – Homer Simpson, Treehouse of Horror XII
“Sloppy work, as usual. Lisa’s casting spells at an eighth-grade level. You’ve sinned against nature.”
– Mrs Krabappel, Treehouse of Horror XII
“Dying tickles!” – Ralph Wiggum, Treehouse of Horror XII
Lenny: Carl, let me die first. I couldn’t bear to watch you die.
Carl: Well, ok, but hurry up.
“Now let’s rob the bank, give the money to the poor, then rob the poor, and shoot the money!”
– Billy the Kid, Treehouse of Horror XIII
“She’s become a monster! Which, I gotta admit I sort of suspected during the sex.”
– Homer Simpson, Treehouse of Horror XIII
“Oh, I’m not asking much, Homer. I just want you to squeeze my teats and harvest my milk.”
– Ned Flanders, Treehouse of Horror XIII
Marge Simpson: [on Dr. Hibbert’s Island] Homie, something very creepy is going on here.
Homer Simpson: You mean they’re gonna try to sell us timeshares?
“Another tragedy prevented by gun violence!” – Sideshow Mel, Treehouse of Horror XIII
What did you think of these Treehouse of Horror quotes?
Did we miss any of your favorite Simpsons quotes from these infamous Halloween episodes?
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