Blame Kif: 28 Sensual Zapp Brannigan Quotes From Futurama

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Zapp Brannigan Quotes Futurama

About Zapp Brannigan From Futurama

GREAT NEWS EVERYONE, Zapp Brannigan quotes dropped and Planet Express is delivering them! That’s how I think the professor would deliver the news of PHASR presenting this today, at least. When in the future, you have to believe that every sentient being and likely apex predators have become wealthy in intelligence and abundant in meaningful work.

Zapp Brannigan and Fry stand tall to say “Not so fast, nerds!” Zapp Brannigan shows up throughout the show enamored by Fry’s infatuation Leela, bossing around Kip, and making the easy, difficult. Futurama was created by David X. Cohen and Matt Groening. It stars Billy West (Fry/Zapp), John DiMaggio (Bender), and Katey Sagal (Leela).

If you’re looking for instructions on how to please a cycloptic lady, make friends with everyone in the galaxy, or just be the embodiment of all that is man, Zapp Brannigan has you covered. Here are our favorite utterances of a man untethered. Let us know your favorite Zapp Brannigan quotes on social media!

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Zapp Brannigan Quotes From Futurama

1. “A well-calculated move, straight out of Sun Tsu’s classic text ‘The Art Of War’, or my own masterwork ‘Zapp Brannigan’s Big Book Of War'” – Zapp Brannigan

2. “You see, Killbots have a preset kill limit. Knowing their weakness, I sent wave after wave of my own men at them, until they reached their limit and shut down.” – Zapp Brannigan

3. “I don’t pretend to understand Brannigan’s Law, I merely enforce it.” – Zapp Brannigan

4. “I like your style. I find it very…erotic.” – Zapp Brannigan

5. “I’ve made it with a woman! Inform the men!” – Zapp Brannigan

6. “Brannigan’s Law is like Brannigan’s love. Hard and fast.” – Zapp Brannigan

7. “Now you’re officially my woman. Kudos, I can’t say I don’t envy you.” – Zapp Brannigan

8. “So, crawling back to the Big Z like a bird on its belly. Delicious.” – Zapp Brannigan

9. “She’s a beautiful ship, all right. Shapely, seductive, I’m gonna fly her brains out.” – Zapp Brannigan

10. “Leela, perhaps this an awkward time, but if things don’t work out with this pipsqueak here I just want you to know that I will be there to score you on the rebound.” – Zapp Brannigan

11. “Our mission is simple. Destroy all aliens.” – Zapp Brannigan

12. “The alien mothership is in orbit here. If we can hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate. – Zapp Brannigan

13. “When I’m in command, every mission is a suicide mission.” – Zapp Brannigan

14. “Stop exploding, you cowards!” – Zapp Brannigan

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15. “If there’s one thing I don’t need, it’s your ‘I don’t think that’s wise’ attitude.” – Zapp Brannigan

16. “My friends, you can take away a man’s title and his uniform, but you can never take away his integrity or his honor…plus it was mostly Kif’s fault.” – Zapp Brannigan

17. “Come on girdle…hold!” – Zapp Brannigan

18. “A hundred and ninety-eight billion babies in a few weeks. We’ll need a super-virile army of men scoring around the clock…I’ll do my part. Kif, clear my schedule.” – Zapp Brannigan

19. Zapp: If it’s a lesson in love, watch out. I suffer from a very sexy learning disability. What do I call it, Kif?
Kif: …sexlexia.

20. “That young man fills me with hope…and some other emotions that are weird and deeply confusing.” – Zapp Brannigan

21. “I’m about to try the new lotion you recommended. If I should accidentally put too much on my hands perhaps I could rub it onto you.” – Zapp Brannigan

22. “She’s built like a steakhouse, but she handles like a bistro.” – Zapp Brannigan

23. “Happy Freedom Day, ladies. Come on, let loose and show me something…anything…seriously, I’d take an armpit.” – Zapp Brannigan

24. “Take him alive so there’s something left to kill.” – Zapp Brannigan

25. “I’m sensing a very sensual disturbance in the force. Prepare for ship-to-ship intimacy.” – Zapp Brannigan

26. “The last time that happened, I got slapped with three paternity suits.” – Zapp Brannigan

27. “Leela, I can’t help but notice you’re unescorted. May I escort you behind that bush for the next five minutes?” – Zapp Brannigan

28. “Kif, stand in that hole so I look taller.” – Zapp Brannigan

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What Did You Think Of Our Compilation Of Zapp Brannigan Quotes?

Thank you for reading our favorite Zapp Brannigan quotes from Futurama! Did you feel like we were really wooing Leela with these sweet words or do we deserve death….by snu snu? Let us know on social media!

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