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Cotton Candy Randy: The Best Lore, Quotes And Theories

Who is the enigmatic figure known as Cotton Candy Randy?

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About Cotton Candy Randy

Cotton Candy Randy is an absurdist character from the internet morning show Good Mythical Morning. Co-Co-Star of the show Rhett McLaughlin describes Cotton Candy Randy as “The all-star of sweets and the champion of creeps.” This is a fairly accurate summary of the character. Randy, played by Mythical staff Jordan Morris, has said a lot of crazy things over his many appearances on GMM.

CCR’s appearance is nothing short of spectacular. He sports a plain white t-shirt, a blue slouchy knit hat, and oversized pants he must constantly hold up. His facial hair (and presumably his body hair as well) is made out of cotton candy. His beard is bright pink cotton candy, and his eyebrows and mustache are made of green cotton candy.

When Cotton Candy Randy appears on Good Mythical Morning, he typically starts by whispering a ‘Sweet Nothing’ into Rhett’s ear. He will then insult Link before helping the duo with the day’s episode.

All of these quotes, insults, and statements come together to tell you the backstory of the character. Today we are going to take Cotton Candy Randy’s many memorable quotes and attempt to craft the lore behind this enigmatic character. I’ve spent the past few days watching every Cotton Candy Randy appearance on Good Mythical Morning. Here are my findings.

Cotton Candy Randy Lives Off Of Trash And Bones

What does a man made of cotton candy eat? Apparently, the answer is bones and trash. Cotton Candy Randy has admitted to eating bones, specifically human bones. He also has an affinity for digging through the trash. Randy even has a sponsorship deal where he can eat Rhett’s trash in exchange for his likeness rights for merch.

Quotes showing that Cotton Candy Randy eats bones and trash:

(In a skeleton onesie) “Today I wanted to dress like my favorite food.”
“I like Necco Wafers because it reminds me of chewing on bones.”
“I like the texture. It reminds me of that bird skeleton I stole from the Natural History Museum.”
“I usually only eat things I find in the parking lot.”
“I’m on a special diet where I only eat out of your trash.”
“I don’t see a dime from that Cotton Candy Randy merch, but that did say, in exchange for the use of my likeness, I can go through Rhett’s trash whenever I want.”
“I like this one because it tastes the most like human bones.”

Cotton Candy Randy Will Eventually Murder Link

It is fairly evident that Link will die at the hands of Cotton Candy Randy. However, it seems like Rhett will live to watch the world end with Randy by his side (more on that later). Randy has made many threats against Link’s life. His plan seems to involve a plethora of murder methods and intricacies.

However, in a later appearance, Cotton Candy Randy writes off his threats against Link as just jokes. This occurs after Link gives him a bottle of barbecue sauce as a gift. We all know Randy embodies a bit of the unreliable narrator archetype, so I guess we will have to look at the circumstances of Link’s death whenever it happens.

Quotes that point to Cotton Candy Randy planning to murder Link:

“I’ve been slowly poisoning both of you, and I’m only giving you (Rhett) the antidote.”
“If I had it my way, I’d hunt you for sport.”
“I like to think about you when I buy hammers.”
“Wrapped in plastic, that’s how they’re going to find your body.”
“In my spare time, I’m making you a coffin.”
“I know the parts of your house where the shadows are the darkest.”
“I’m gonna make you eat your screams.”

Rhett And CCR Will Live To See The Apocalypse

While Cotton Candy Randy wants to murder Link, he has a peculiar fondness for Rhett. That said, Randy has other plans. With CCR being a demon, and possibly the new devil (see below), he seems to be planning the end of the world. However, the end of the world means nothing without Rhett by his side. Throughout Randy’s appearances on GMM, he outlines his plans for the end of the world. He wants the end of the world to come while he and Rhett are sitting by a beautiful lake.

Evidence that shows Rhett and Cotton Candy Randy will experience the end of the world:

“I’ve seen how we die and it’s in a beautiful lake.”
“I want to be the last thing you see before you die.”
“Why did the chicken cross the road? In a futile attempt to escape the coming darkness.”
“It’s a dark rain, like the dark rain that is going to cover the Earth.”
“I have seen a great darkness. It is coming for us. A great beast will devour us from below, and we will be born anew into a new world of pain, where the streets will run red with blood and screams will be our currency.”

Cotton Candy Randy Good Mythical Morning

CCR Is Having An Affair With Link’s Wife (And Possibly Rhett’s Too)

Cotton Candy Randy gets a bit personal with Link in his insults. Specifically, he tells Link that his wife is attracted to him and that he is acting as a second father to his children. Randy also mentions to Rhett that his wife wants him to join their marriage.

Quotes that show Cotton Candy Randy is sleeping with Link’s Wife:

(To Rhett) “You wife says it’s okay if I join your marriage.”
“Your wife’s been sliding into my DMs.”
“Your wife likes me best!”
“Last weekend I took your kids to Six Flags.’

Cotton Candy Randy Is A Demon That Usurped The Devil’s Throne

Here is the dark truth. Cotton Candy Randy is an immortal demon from hell. He was also able to murder Satan while he was sleeping, making him the new devil. Why does he roam the Earth as a cotton candy man? No one knows. All we know is that there is great power behind that cotton candy beard.

Another interesting aspect of this theory is when CCR describes a man he fights in the back alley behind the local Bob’s Big Boy restaurant. He states that the two fight to see who gets to become the next God. Are there more world-altering plans in Randy’s future? We will have to keep watching Good Mythical Morning to find out.

Evidence that Cotton Candy Randy is a Demon and the new devil:

“When I die, I want you to eat my heart to gain my strength.”
“I was born into a void of pure darkness. As a child, I swam in a stream of blood, then after college I just backpacked around Europe for a couple months.”
As a demon from hell, I love Reddit.
“Water can’t kill me. I am immortal. I’ll outlive everyone.”
“Last night I killed the devil in his sleep and now I’m the new devil.”
“It’s always Cotton Candy Day in hell.”

Our Universe Is Just In Link’s Imagination

While there is only one quote about this topic, I found it to be the most interesting piece of Cotton Candy Randy’s lore. Randy tells Link that he is on an operating table and that the past five years have been a hallucination. Since you and I currently exist in the same universe as Rhett and Link, we are all also figments of Link’s imagination. In fact, the only reason why I’m writing this article is to pay homage to the demi-god known as Cotton Candy Randy in hopes of salvation.

Is the universe just in Link’s head?

“You’re currently on an operating table and the last five years have been happening inside your head.”

Cotton Candy Randy’s Sweet Nothings For Rhett

Here is a list of the Sweet Nothings whispered into Rhett’s ear by Cotton Candy Randy:

“If you want, you can taste my sweet face, daddy.”
“Come to my van for free shrimp, daddy.”
“Thank you for helping me use the big boy potty, daddy.”
“For my birthday, I want to drink a cup of your spit.”
“I’ve seen how we die and it’s in a beautiful lake.”
“I locked my dog in the closet and now she’s a skeleton.”
“I want to be the last thing you see before you die.”
“When I was in the box, I turned it into a potty.”
“There’s room for two in the sack where I sleep.”
“I have seen a great darkness. It is coming for us. A great beast will devour us from below, and we will be born anew into a new world of pain, where the streets will run red with blood and screams will be our currency.”
“When I die, I want you to eat my heart to gain my strength.”
“I have a Father’s Day gift for you. It’s a mouthful of spiders.”
“Meet me after the show and I’ll share some pills I found in the parking lot.”
“I found a doctor overseas that will turn us into Siamese twins.”
“I booked us an appointment to get our portrait taken at Sears.”
“You wife says it’s okay if I join your marriage.”
“I’m on a special diet where I only eat out of your trash.”
“I’ve been slowly poisoning both of you, and I’m only giving you the antidote.”

Cotton Candy Randy’s Insults For Link

Here is a list of the many insults given to Link by Cotton Candy Randy:

“I don’t like your face.”
“If I had it my way, I’d hunt you for sport.”
“Your wife likes me best!”
“Last weekend I took your kids to Six Flags.’
“I can tell that you lie sometimes.”
holds up knife “I’m going to show this to you in your sleep.”
“You stink like the trash, bye!”
“I want to be the last thing you see before you die.”
“One of these days, I’m going to make you eat my trash, and it’s going to be the best day of your life.”
“I know the parts of your house where the shadows are the darkest.”
“You smell like how a diaper tastes.”
“In my spare time, I’m making you a coffin.”
“I’m gonna make you eat your screams.”
“Go away and stop being on the show.”
“Wrapped in plastic, that’s how they’re going to find your body.”
“How do you feel about that being your last meal?”
“Hey Link, nice shirt, dork!”
“I like to think about you when I buy hammers.”
“We all have a text chain where we talk about you.”
“You’re currently on an operating table and the last five years have been happening inside your head.”
“Your wife’s been sliding into my DMs.”

Other Cotton Candy Randy Quotes

Outside of the Sweet Nothings and insults, here are some other important CCR quotes:

“Happy Cotton Candy Day, daddies!”
“Taste my face and I’ll tell you another tale.”
“Last night I killed the devil in his sleep and now I’m the new devil.”
“I heard you had knives, I like to put those in my mouth.”
“I keep a mouse in a sock.”
“Do you want some of my homemade baby wipes? They’re in my van.”
(In a skeleton onesie) “Today I wanted to dress like my favorite food.”
“I’ve licked some of the stuff you’re about to eat today.”
“Why did the chicken cross the road? In a futile attempt to escape the coming darkness.”
“I like Necco Wafers because it reminds me of chewing on bones.”
“It’s always Cotton Candy Day in hell.”
“Are you ready to taste my salty juices?”
“I like the texture. It reminds me of that bird skeleton I stole from the Natural History Museum.”
“I usually only eat things I find in the parking lot.”
“Hi Jen! See you later at book club!”
“Are you enjoying your mouthfuls, daddies?”
“I came back because I smell death.”
“I think tears are just a drink that comes from the face.”
“Water can’t kill me. I am immortal. I’ll outlive everyone.”
“I don’t see a dime from that Cotton Candy Randy merch, but that did say, in exchange for the use of my likeness, I can go through Rhett’s trash whenever I want.”
As a demon from hell, I love Reddit.
“I think it’s pretty clear what’s going on here. Link is jealous of my relationship with Rhett.”
“You gotta take time for self-care, you know?”
“Feed me, daddies.”
“You hold the hater’s mouth open, and you put a live snake in there using barbecue tongs.”
“I was born into a void of pure darkness. As a child, I swam in a stream of blood, then after college I just backpacked around Europe for a couple months.”
“I’m pretty good with a knife.”
“I like this one because it tastes the most like human bones.”
“I’m more of a chocolate guy anyways.”
“It’s a dark rain, like the dark rain that is going to cover the Earth.”