19 Crazy Creed Bratton Quotes From The Office

Here you will find some of my all-time favorite Creed Bratton quotes. The Office is one of my favorite television shows. I always felt that Creed was an underrated character.

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Creed Bratton Quotes

Creed Bratton Quotes

Everyone has a favorite Creed Bratton quote, or at least I do (see number 7). Creed Bratton is one of the most enigmatic figures on The Office. Not much is known about him. His dealings seem shady and criminal. It may not even be his real identity.

Below you will find some of my all-time favorite Creed Bratton quotes. The Office is one of my favorite television shows. I always felt that Creed was an underrated character. Speculating about the crazy life he leads is entertainment all of its own.

1. “I’ve been involved in a number of cults, both as a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower. But you make more money as a leader.”

Creed Bratton Quotes

2. “Guys, I’m starting to think Pam’s not even pregnant.”


3. “Nobody steals from Creed Bratton and gets away with it. The last person to do this disappeared. His name: Creed Bratton.”

Creed Bratton

4. “The only difference between me and a homeless man is this job. I will do whatever it takes to survive… like I did when I was a homeless man.”

5. “I am not offended by homosexuality, in the sixties I made love to many, many women, often outdoors in the mud & rain. It’s possible a man could’ve slipped in there. There’d be no way of knowing.”

Creed Bratton Funny

6. “I stopped caring a long time ago.”

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7. “The Taliban’s the worst. Great Heroin, though.”

Creed Bratton character

8. “Did one of you tell Stanley that I have asthma. ‘Cause I don’t. If this gets out, they won’t let me scuba. And if I can’t scuba, what am I working toward?”“A beautiful morning at Dunder Mifflin. Or like I like to call it, great Bratton.”

9. “You ever notice you can only ooze two things? Sexuality and pus. Man, I tell ya.”


10. “He’s been trashing us relentlessly on Twitter. Now it’s funny stuff, but mean.”


11. “Just pretend like we’re talking until the cops leave.”

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12. “When Pam gets Michael’s old chair, I get Pam’s old chair. Then I’ll have two chairs. Only one to go.”


13. “A lot of jazz cats are blind. But they can play the piano like nobody’s business. I’d like to put the piano in front of Pam, without her glasses, and see what happens. I’d also like to see her topless.”

Best Creed Bratton Quotes

14. “I’ve never owned a refrigerator before.”


15. “You ever seen a foot with four toes?”


16. “I’m a pretty normal guy. I do one weird thing. I like to go in the women’s room for number two. I’ve been caught several times and I have paid dearly”


17. “Cool beans, man! I live by the quarry. We should hang out by the quarry and throw things down there.”


18. “I run a small fake I.D. company from my car with a laminating machine that I swiped from the sheriff’s station.”


19. “Creed Bratton has never declared bankruptcy. When Creed Bratton gets in trouble, he transfers his debt to William Charles Schneider.”


Creed Bratton Quotes

What Are Your Favorite Creed Bratton Quotes?

Do you still watch The Office? I sure do. It makes a great show for before bed, or when you are trying to multitask in front of the television.

What are some of your favorite Creed Bratton Quotes? Let me know on social media!


Learn More About Creed Bratton

Creed Bratton’s Official Website

The Office Wiki: Creed Bratton

Creed Bratton (Character) on Wikipedia


Further Reading

29 Hilarious Michael Scott Quotes From The Office

17 Sarcastic April Ludgate Quotes From Parks And Rec

23 Funniest Jim Halpert Quotes From The Office

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