37 Funniest Kitty Forman Quotes From That 70s Show

Disclaimer: If you click a PHASR link and make a purchase, at no additional cost to you, we may receive a commission.

Best Kitty Forman Quotes

Kitty Forman, played by Debra Jo Rupp, is one of television’s greatest moms. Plus, who doesn’t love that iconic laugh?

Here are our favorite Kitty Forman quotes from That 70s Show. If we missed any of your favorites, let us know on social media!

Funniest Kitty Forman Quotes


1. “I’m not doing anything else for men today.”

2. (To Eric) “Oh, honey. Were your father and I having intercourse?”

3. Red: I got something to cheer my girl up.
Kitty: Good, because I finished off the last bottle this morning.

4. Kitty: Boys, I realized that I may have been a little irrational today.
Kelso: …A little?
Kitty: SHUT UP!

5. (To Red) “Washer and dryer, Red. They are going to have a washer and dryer. That redheaded harlot is going to be Shouting out my baby’s grass stains.”

RELATED: 49 Best Ron Swanson Quotes From Parks and Recreation

6. “I am a nurse. I know that one in five teenagers smoke. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5! Now, I’m going to close my eyes, and when I open them there better be a cigarette between these two fingers. C’mon people, hop to!”

7. (To Donna) “You know, Donna. I’ve been drinking. I mean, thinking, haha.”

8. (While Stoned) “You know what’s beautiful? Fruit cake.”


9. “A car is not a bedroom on wheels.”

10. Kitty: I hardly felt a thing.
Donna: …You ate a whole box of uncooked spaghetti.

11. (To Red) “What if that had been you walking in on your parents? And your mother was a dancer. I imagine that would have been quite something.”

12. (To Bob) “Bob….are you making fun of MY hair?”

13. “Laurie, you are mean to your brother and you are screwing around at college. We don’t even see you unless you’ve run out of clean clothes or need cash. You are an ungrateful spoiled brat.”


14. Red: Why is the dog on the counter?
Kitty: He likes to be tall.

15. “This place uses too much ice.” (Pours tequila bottle into a blender.)

16. Red: You’re not hurt, you’re faking it!
Kitty: Don’t be so surprised, I fake things plenty!

17. Red: And how’s my pretty lady?
Kitty: Oh you are so full of crap.

18. “Alright, fine! I drink a little.”

19. “Well, you are about to get a vast inventory of MY FOOT IN YOUR ASS.”

20. “Maybe you could shave your mustache because, honey, you look like a 40-year-old male prostitute.”

21. “You two get your B-double-O-Bs off my husband!”

22. “Sometimes I feel like a loaf of bread. Everyone keeps taking a slice of me until all that’s left is two crusty pieces that nobody wants.”

23. “Well, I will say this about Price Mart, they have wonderful balls!”

24. “You went off and gave me funnel cake to those whores!”

25. “It’s just a little unbalanced because out appropriate-sized clothes are on one side, and your little teeny tiny stripper clothes are on the other!”

26. “I can outlast those tramps any day of the week.”

27. “I’d get up my backs still sore from that knife you stuck in it.”

28. “I don’t get it, what’s so funny about a muff? Muffs aren’t funny. I have a beautiful grey one that I’ve been using for years.

29. “You kids switch partners more than square dancers.”

30. “I am pretty, and I am special.”

31. “Red, I am not drunk. I am upset…and drunk.”

32. “Sex Pistols! Well that’s terrible. Guns don’t belong in the bedroom.”

33. “Well you know I love my family. It’s just sometimes I want to get in the car and run them all over!”

34. “Well, honey, I don’t think you’re a jackass. I think you’re a jack-angel.”

35. “How dare you boys smoke up my house when you know how hard I work to keep it smelling lemony fresh!”

36. “Red Forman, I firmly believe that god wants me to bake a potato in four minutes.”

37. “It’s just a couple of greased-up broads on a Chevy! Get over it!”

What Are Your Favorite Kitty Forman Quotes?

We hope you enjoyed our list of our favorite Kitty Forman quotes! Did we miss any of your favorites? Let us know on social media!

Make The Other Emails In Your Inbox Jealous.

Get The Best Of PHASR Delivered Weekly

The Perfect Shirt For All Your Special Stains.


Get The Best of PHASR Directly To Your Inbox!

When you sign up for the PHASR newsletter,
you are automatically entered to
win free PHASR merch.