Best Friends: 25 Hilarious Step Brothers Quotes

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Step Brothers Quotes

Step Brothers is a comedy film that was released on July 25th, 2008. The film stars Will Ferrell, John C. Reilly, Richard Jenkins, and Adam Scott. It was directed by Adam McKay and written by Will Ferrell and Adam McKay.

Two grown-up slackers find themselves at odds when their parents remarry. The two must find a way to get along while also starting a journey to become their adult selves.

In my experience, this is one of the most quoted comedy films of the past 20 years. I feel as though I hear someone say ‘Did we just become best friends?” at least once a week. Today, we want to go over our favorite Step Brothers quotes. Enjoy!

RELATED: 6 Hilarious Jillian Moments From Workaholics

The Best Step Brothers Quotes

“This is going to sound weird but, for a second, I think you took on the shape of a unicorn.” – Dale

“One time I wrestled a giraffe to the ground with my bare hands.” – Dale

“Brennan, this is the voice of an angel. I can’t even make eye contact with you right now. Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.” – Dale

“I’m fucking miserable, I had to get up at ten o’clock this morning.” – Dale

“You should have never let us make bunk beds! It was a terrible idea! There’s blood everywhere!” – Dale

“You and your mom are hillbillies. This is a house of learned doctors.” – Dale

“Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You got to fuck one, marry one, kill one, Go!” – Dale

“I know that you are technically married now, but that does not mean that they have to live here.” – Dale

“Dad, we’re men, okay? That means a few things. We like to shit with the door open. We talk about pussy. We go on riverboat gambling trips. We make our own beef jerky. That’s what we do and now that is all wrecked.” – Dale

“Last week I put liquid paper on a bee and it died.” – Brennan

“When you fall asleep, I’m going to punch you square in the face.” – Brennan

“I’ve been called the songbird of my generation.” – Brennan

“You keep your liver-spotted hands off my beautiful mother! She’s a saint!” – Brennan

“I’m not gonna call him dad, not even if there’s a fire.” – Brennan

“I still hate you, but you have a pretty good collection of nudie magazines.” – Brennan

“Yeah, I got them from the 70s, 80s, 90s. It’s like masturbating in a time machine.” – Dale

“I’m gonna fill a pillowcase full of bars of soap and beat the shit out of you!” – Brennan

“Robert better not get in my face because I’ll drop that motherfucker.” – Brennan

“Today I saw my own son use a bicycle as a weapon.” – Nancy

“I teabagged your drum set!” – Brennan

“I am warning you. If you touch my drums I will stab you in the neck with a knife.” – Dale

Nancy: You don’t know anyone named Johnny Hopkins.
Brennan: It was Johnny Hopkins and Sloan Kettering, and they were blazing that shit up every day.

“Supposed Nancy sees me coming out of the shower and decides to come onto me. I’m looking good, got a luscious ‘V’ of hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro. She takes one look and goes ‘Oh my God. I’ve had the old bull. Now I want the young calf.’ and she grabs me by the weiner.” – Dale

Brennan: Do you wanna go do karate in the garage?
Dale: Yup!

Derek: Or Randy here is going to eat your dick.
Randy: Like Kobayashi!

RELATED: The Time Kevin Smith Protested His Own Movie

What Are Your Favorite Step Brothers Quotes?

We hope you enjoyed the list of our favorite Step Brothers quotes. Did we miss any of your favorites? Let us know on social media!

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