About Scary Movie (2000)
As lovers of horror here at PHASR, we sometimes like to mix things up with a good parody. Sometimes the parody is within the horror movie itself, and sometimes the parody is a movie all on its own. One that we come back to all the time is Scary Movie. Ideally, we’ll get more of them in the near and dear future!
Scary Movie was directed by Keenen Ivory Wayans and written by Shawn Wayans, Marlon Wayans, and Buddy Johnson. The film stars Anna Faris, Jon Abrahams, Shannon Elizabeth, and Marlon Wayans. Scary Movie is a series of movies that spoofs Scream and other popular horror movies. It follows Cindy and her friends around in a goofy re-telling of these horror stories.
If you’re looking for a good laugh by way of spoofing horror, Scary Movie is definitely the move. If you’re holding up on watching it, at least check out our list of the goofiest Scary Movie quotes!
RELATED: 8 Movies Referenced In Scream (1996)
Funny Scary Movie Quotes
“I’m on TV! Oh, shit! First Cops, now this?” – Shorty
Ghostface: Hello, Shorty. What are you doing?
Shorty: Nothing. Sitting here watching the game, smoking some bud.
“There’s a killer in the house! There’s ass, blood, and guts everywhere!” – Shorty
Brenda: Lunch is not a class, Shorty.
Shorty: It is when you got the munchies!
“Cindy…they shot me in the lungs…you wanna hit this shit?” – Shorty
Ghostface: Do you know where I am? I could be anywhere. I’m like the wind baby. Yeah, where am I?
Cindy: Um…you’re behind the couch.
“Ketchup, just like my mom puts on her spaghetti.” – Bobby
Shorty: Your mother.
Brenda: You my brother, that’s your mother too, jackass.
Shorty: Oh yeah, well then your father, stupid.
Brenda: So? I don’t know him!
Shorty: Yeah, me neither.
“Let me just say, the killing of these teenagers has been tragic, but hey, you know, shit happens.” – Sheriff Burke
Ghostface: What’s that noise?
Drew: Oops, I farted. I didn’t think you would hear me.
Ghostface: No, that popping noise.
Drew: Oh, I’m making popcorn and getting ready to watch a video.
Doofy: Mom says when I wear this badge you’re supposed to treat me like a man of the law.
Buffy: Yeah, well Mom also said for you to stop sticking your dick in the vacuum cleaner!
Bobby: Did Scream have a plot?
Bobby: Did ‘I Know What You Did Last Summer’ make sense? DON’T THINK SO! And what about the sequel? What the hell was with that fat white Jamaican kid?
Ray: Oh I want to kill that motherfucker, man.
Ghostface: Do you like scary movies?
Ghostface: What’s your favorite?
Drew: Hmm, I don’t know.
Drew: Oh I know! Kazaam, you know, the one where Shaq plays a genie.
Ghostface: That’s not a horror movie.
Drew: Well you haven’t seen Shaq act.
Shorty: What you doin’, son?
Ghostface: Nothin’. Just chillin’…killin’.
Shorty: True, true.
The Ghostface Freestyle
“I’m gonna slash and gash
Cut another hole in your ass
I spill blood on the walls
Then play tennis with your balls
If the phone rings, don’t answer the call
Gonna slit your throat, fuck you like a goat
Peel your foreskin off, and make a winter coat
Peace!” – Ghostface, Scary Movie (2001)
What Are Your Favorite Scary Movie Quotes?
Thanks for coming along on this laugh riot of our favorite Scary Movie quotes! Were there any that you think we missed? Let us know on social media!