77 Funny Spongebob Quotes To Get You Through Your Day

These are the best SpongeBob quotes!

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Funny Spongebob Quotes


SpongeBob SquarePants is a classic in children’s animation. Loved by both children and adults, the Nickelodeon show has had its fair share of hilarious moments. If you were a kid growing up in the early 2000s it’s likely you still quote SpongeBob just for the laughs. Despite its strange concept for children’s television series on its surface, SpongeBob in a lot of ways raised a whole generation of kids and affected our humor today.

The children’s series was made by marine science educator and animator Stephen Hillenburg for Nickelodeon. Since its premiere on millions of television sets in the Summer of 1999, SpongeBob SquarePants has grown to become the fifth-longest-running American animated series in history! Its incredible popularity has made it a media franchise and has even won a variety of awards including six Annie Awards, eight Golden Reel Awards, four Emmy Awards, 19 Kids’ Choice Awards, and two BAFTA Children’s Awards.

With its sonically iconic cast of voice talent like Tom Kenny, Rodger Bumpass, Bill Fagerbakke, and Clancy Brown it’s easy to recall some of the show’s most memorable moments even today. So in celebration of SpongeBob and his nautical adventures we’ve curated a list of our favorite funny SpongeBob quotes. If we missed any of our favorites, let us know on social media!

Funny Spongebob Quotes

spongebob quotes

1. Caller: Is this the Krusty Krab?
Patrick: No, this is Patrick.

2. Mr. Krabs: I didn’t want to say this in front of Patrick, but that hat makes you look like a girl.
Spongebob: Am I a pretty girl?

3. “Do you smell it? That smell. A kind of smelly smell. A smelly smell that smells…smelly.” – Mr. Krabs

4. “I am ugly and I’m proud!” – Spongebob

5. “Hmmm, a five-letter word for happiness…money.” – Mr. Krabs


6. “It’s just a cruel reminder that I’m single and likely to remain that way forever.” – Squidward

7. “I knew I shouldn’t have gotten out of bed today.” – Squidward

8. “But it’s my only night to be fancy!” – Squidward

9. “I might as well sleep for 100 years or so.” – Squidward

10. “So much later that the old narrator got tired of waiting and they had to hire a new one.” – New Narrator

11. “Well maybe we wouldn’t sound so bad if some people didn’t try playing with BIG MEATY CLAWS!” – Saxophone Player

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12. “F is for fire that burns down the whole town. U is uranium…bombs! N is for no survivors!” – Plankton

13. “My name’s not RIIIIIIIIIIIICK!” – Patrick

14. “Future. Future. Future.” – Squidward

15. “Holographic Meatloaf? My favorite!” – Plankton

16. “It’s called The Ugly Barnacle. Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.” – Patrick

17. “With imagination, you can be anything you want.” – Spongebob


18. “You’ll never get what you want if you always let people step on you.” – Plankton

19. “Run Mr. Krabs! Run like you’re not in a coma!” – Spongebob

20. “You never really know the true value of a moment, until it becomes a memory.” – SpongeBob

21. “I know of a place where you never get harmed. A magical place with magical charms. Indoors. Indoors.” – Spongebob

22. “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” – Patrick

23. “Two words, Spongebob. Na. Chos.” – Patrick

24. Bouncer: Welcome to The Salty Spitoon. How tough are you?
Customer: How tough am I? How tough am I? I had a bowl of nails for breakfast this morning.
Bouncer: Yeah, so?
Customer: Without any milk.

25. “If I was a mom…this would be kind of shocking. Just call me daddy!” – Patrick

26. Spongebob: You’re just in time to enlist in my army! Join me, and together we will fight the Pink Menace!
Patrick: That’s me!

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spongebob quotes

27. “You can’t fool me. I listen to public radio!” – Squidward

28. “Oh well, I guess I’m not wearing any pants today!” – SpongeBob

29. “Goodbye everyone, I’ll remember you all in therapy.” – Plankton

30. “I was trying to tell you that I was choking on snow but the snow melted and turned into water and I drank all the water now I’m better.” – Patrick

31. “Yeah, well I’d hate you even if I didn’t hate you.” – Patrick

32. “I Spongeboob. SPONGEBOOB? Who’s Spongeboob? I said Spongeboob. Again, again, sorry people.” – Patrick

33. “The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.” – Patrick

34. “I got diarrhea!” – Spongebob

35. “Fine, I guess you’re gonna miss…the panty raid.” – Patrick

36. “Remember, licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets.” – Spongebob

37. “Well, it may be stupid, but it’s also dumb.” – Patrick

38. “You don’t need a license to drive a sandwich”. – Spongebob

39. “The best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time.” – Spongebob

40. “Can I be excused for the rest of my life?” – Spongebob


41. “Ravioli, ravioli. Give me the formuoli.” – Spongebob Squarepants

42. “Wake me up when I care.” – Squidward Tentacles

43. Spongebob: Hey, Patrick.
Patrick: What?
Spongebob: I thought of something funnier than 24.
Patrick: Let me heard it.
Spongebob: …25

44. “Hello? Where’d everybody go? Did I miss something? Did you see my butt?” – Patrick Star

45. “If I were to die right now in a fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend…Then it would just be alright.” – Spongebob

46. “Home is where you’re surrounded by other critters that care about you.” – Sandy Cheeks

47. “If you believe in yourself and with a tiny pinch of magic, all your dreams can come true.” -Spongebob

48. “My pants are on fire!…My underwear is on fire!…I’M ON FIRE!” – Mr. Krabs

49. “Knowledge cannot replace friendship.” – Patrick Star

50. “Being grown-up is boring. Besides, I don’t ‘get’ jazz.” – Patrick Star

51. “Sometimes we have to go deep inside ourselves to solve our problems.” – Patrick Star

52. “I’ll have you know that I stubbed by toe last week and only cried for 20 minutes.” – Spongebob

53. “Good people don’t rip other people’s arms off.” – Spongebob

54. “Dumb people are always blissfully unaware of how dumb they really are…” – Patrick Star

55. “Excuse me, sir, but you’re sitting on my body, which is also my face.” – Spongebob

56. “SpongeBob is the only guy I know who can have fun with a jellyfish…for 12 hours!” – Squidward

57. “Always follow your heart – unless your heart is bad with directions.” – Spongebob

58. “See, no one says ‘cool’ anymore. That’s such an old person thing. Now we say ‘coral’, as in ‘That nose job is so coral.’” – Pearl Krabs

59. “Pull your pants up, Patrick. We’re going home.” – SpongeBob

60. “Ha, ha! It’s a giraffe!” – Patrick

61. Spongebob: My friends don’t hang out at Weenie Hut Jrs.
Patrick: You tell em Spongebob.
Spongebob: Patrick, what are you doing here?
Patrick: I’m always here on Double Weenie Wednesday.

62. “What’s so great about a nerdy pickle?” – Patrick

63. Spongebob: I slipped on an ice cube and got covered in boo-boos.
Doctor: Boo-boos, eh? I think you guys want THAT hospital.

64. “My leg! My leg!” – Bikini Bottom Citizen

65. “We shall never deny a guest, even the most ridiculous request.” – Mr. Krabs

66. “It’s not always what you say that matters, sometimes it’s what you don’t say.” – Mr. Krabs

67. Squidward: Spongebob, I have a confession to make.
Spongebob: Eek! You’re bald?!?


68. Spongebob: You don’t even have fingernails.
Patrick: I cannot believe what I am hearing!
Spongebob: How can you hear it? You don’t have ears either!

69. “Wait, Spongebob, we’re not cavemen. We have technology.” – Patrick

70. Sandy: Don’t you have to be stupid somewhere else?
Patrick: Not until 4.

71. “Way to go buddy. It took us three days to make that potato salad. THREE DAYS!” – Bikini Bottom Citizen

72. “Too bad SpongeBob’s not here to enjoy Spongebob not being here.” – Squidward

73. Customer: What’s going on?
Squidward: Something stupid, I’m sure.

74. Patrick (to a fire hydrant): Are you Squidward? That’s okay, take your time.

75. Squidward: Next I suppose you want me to go square dancing with Patrick?
(Patrick in cowboy outfit)
Spongebob: …sorry Patrick.

76. “I can’t see my forehead!” – Patrick

77. Patrick: You got it set to ‘M’ for mini when it should be set to ‘W’ for wumbo.
Spongebob: Patrick, I don’t think wumbo is a real word.
Patrick: C’mon, you know. I wumbo. You wumbo. He/she/we wumbo.

What Are Your Favorite Funny Spongebob Quotes?

spongebob quotes

We hope you enjoyed our list of funny Spongebob quotes. Were there any that we missed? Let us know on social media!

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