ARE YOU READY KIDS? I CAN’T HEAR YOU! OOO!
SpongeBob SquarePants is a classic in children’s animation. Loved by both children and adults, the Nickelodeon show has had its fair share of hilarious moments. If you were a kid growing up in the early 2000s it’s likely you still quote SpongeBob just for the laughs. Despite its strange concept for children’s television series on its surface, SpongeBob in a lot of ways raised a whole generation of kids and affected our humor today.
The children’s series was made by marine science educator and animator Stephen Hillenburg for Nickelodeon. Since its premiere on millions of television sets in the Summer of 1999, SpongeBob SquarePants has grown to become the fifth-longest-running American animated series in history! Its incredible popularity has made it a media franchise and has even won a variety of awards including six Annie Awards, eight Golden Reel Awards, four Emmy Awards, 19 Kids’ Choice Awards, and two BAFTA Children’s Awards.
With its sonically iconic cast of voice talent like Tom Kenny, Rodger Bumpass, Bill Fagerbakke, and Clancy Brown it’s easy to recall some of the show’s most memorable moments even today. So in celebration of SpongeBob and his nautical adventures we’ve curated a list of our favorite funny SpongeBob quotes. If we missed any of our favorites, let us know on social media!
Funny Spongebob Quotes
1. Caller: Is this the Krusty Krab?
Patrick: No, this is Patrick.
2. Mr. Krabs: I didn’t want to say this in front of Patrick, but that hat makes you look like a girl.
Spongebob: Am I a pretty girl?
3. “Do you smell it? That smell. A kind of smelly smell. A smelly smell that smells…smelly.” – Mr. Krabs
4. “I am ugly and I’m proud!” – Spongebob
5. “Hmmm, a five-letter word for happiness…money.” – Mr. Krabs
6. “It’s just a cruel reminder that I’m single and likely to remain that way forever.” – Squidward
7. “I knew I shouldn’t have gotten out of bed today.” – Squidward
8. “But it’s my only night to be fancy!” – Squidward
9. “I might as well sleep for 100 years or so.” – Squidward
10. “So much later that the old narrator got tired of waiting and they had to hire a new one.” – New Narrator
11. “Well maybe we wouldn’t sound so bad if some people didn’t try playing with BIG MEATY CLAWS!” – Saxophone Player
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12. “F is for fire that burns down the whole town. U is uranium…bombs! N is for no survivors!” – Plankton
13. “My name’s not RIIIIIIIIIIIICK!” – Patrick
14. “Future. Future. Future.” – Squidward
15. “Holographic Meatloaf? My favorite!” – Plankton
16. “It’s called The Ugly Barnacle. Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.” – Patrick
17. “With imagination, you can be anything you want.” – Spongebob
18. “You’ll never get what you want if you always let people step on you.” – Plankton
19. “Run Mr. Krabs! Run like you’re not in a coma!” – Spongebob
20. “You never really know the true value of a moment, until it becomes a memory.” – SpongeBob
21. “I know of a place where you never get harmed. A magical place with magical charms. Indoors. Indoors.” – Spongebob
22. “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” – Patrick
23. “Two words, Spongebob. Na. Chos.” – Patrick
24. Bouncer: Welcome to The Salty Spitoon. How tough are you?
Customer: How tough am I? How tough am I? I had a bowl of nails for breakfast this morning.
Bouncer: Yeah, so?
Customer: Without any milk.
25. “If I was a mom…this would be kind of shocking. Just call me daddy!” – Patrick
26. Spongebob: You’re just in time to enlist in my army! Join me, and together we will fight the Pink Menace!
Patrick: That’s me!
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27. “You can’t fool me. I listen to public radio!” – Squidward
28. “Oh well, I guess I’m not wearing any pants today!” – SpongeBob
29. “Goodbye everyone, I’ll remember you all in therapy.” – Plankton
30. “I was trying to tell you that I was choking on snow but the snow melted and turned into water and I drank all the water now I’m better.” – Patrick
31. “Yeah, well I’d hate you even if I didn’t hate you.” – Patrick
32. “I Spongeboob. SPONGEBOOB? Who’s Spongeboob? I said Spongeboob. Again, again, sorry people.” – Patrick
33. “The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.” – Patrick
34. “I got diarrhea!” – Spongebob
35. “Fine, I guess you’re gonna miss…the panty raid.” – Patrick
36. “Remember, licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets.” – Spongebob
37. “Well, it may be stupid, but it’s also dumb.” – Patrick
38. “You don’t need a license to drive a sandwich”. – Spongebob
39. “The best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time.” – Spongebob
40. “Can I be excused for the rest of my life?” – Spongebob
41. “Ravioli, ravioli. Give me the formuoli.” – Spongebob Squarepants
42. “Wake me up when I care.” – Squidward Tentacles
43. Spongebob: Hey, Patrick.
Spongebob: I thought of something funnier than 24.
Patrick: Let me heard it.
44. “Hello? Where’d everybody go? Did I miss something? Did you see my butt?” – Patrick Star
45. “If I were to die right now in a fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend…Then it would just be alright.” – Spongebob
46. “Home is where you’re surrounded by other critters that care about you.” – Sandy Cheeks
47. “If you believe in yourself and with a tiny pinch of magic, all your dreams can come true.” -Spongebob
48. “My pants are on fire!…My underwear is on fire!…I’M ON FIRE!” – Mr. Krabs
49. “Knowledge cannot replace friendship.” – Patrick Star
50. “Being grown-up is boring. Besides, I don’t ‘get’ jazz.” – Patrick Star
51. “Sometimes we have to go deep inside ourselves to solve our problems.” – Patrick Star
52. “I’ll have you know that I stubbed by toe last week and only cried for 20 minutes.” – Spongebob
53. “Good people don’t rip other people’s arms off.” – Spongebob
54. “Dumb people are always blissfully unaware of how dumb they really are…” – Patrick Star
55. “Excuse me, sir, but you’re sitting on my body, which is also my face.” – Spongebob
56. “SpongeBob is the only guy I know who can have fun with a jellyfish…for 12 hours!” – Squidward
57. “Always follow your heart – unless your heart is bad with directions.” – Spongebob
58. “See, no one says ‘cool’ anymore. That’s such an old person thing. Now we say ‘coral’, as in ‘That nose job is so coral.’” – Pearl Krabs
59. “Pull your pants up, Patrick. We’re going home.” – SpongeBob
60. “Ha, ha! It’s a giraffe!” – Patrick
61. Spongebob: My friends don’t hang out at Weenie Hut Jrs.
Patrick: You tell em Spongebob.
Spongebob: Patrick, what are you doing here?
Patrick: I’m always here on Double Weenie Wednesday.
62. “What’s so great about a nerdy pickle?” – Patrick
63. Spongebob: I slipped on an ice cube and got covered in boo-boos.
Doctor: Boo-boos, eh? I think you guys want THAT hospital.
Spongebob: …WEENIE HUT GENERAL?
64. “My leg! My leg!” – Bikini Bottom Citizen
65. “We shall never deny a guest, even the most ridiculous request.” – Mr. Krabs
66. “It’s not always what you say that matters, sometimes it’s what you don’t say.” – Mr. Krabs
67. Squidward: Spongebob, I have a confession to make.
Spongebob: Eek! You’re bald?!?
68. Spongebob: You don’t even have fingernails.
Patrick: I cannot believe what I am hearing!
Spongebob: How can you hear it? You don’t have ears either!
69. “Wait, Spongebob, we’re not cavemen. We have technology.” – Patrick
70. Sandy: Don’t you have to be stupid somewhere else?
Patrick: Not until 4.
71. “Way to go buddy. It took us three days to make that potato salad. THREE DAYS!” – Bikini Bottom Citizen
72. “Too bad SpongeBob’s not here to enjoy Spongebob not being here.” – Squidward
73. Customer: What’s going on?
Squidward: Something stupid, I’m sure.
74. Patrick (to a fire hydrant): Are you Squidward? That’s okay, take your time.
75. Squidward: Next I suppose you want me to go square dancing with Patrick?
(Patrick in cowboy outfit)
Spongebob: …sorry Patrick.
76. “I can’t see my forehead!” – Patrick
77. Patrick: You got it set to ‘M’ for mini when it should be set to ‘W’ for wumbo.
Spongebob: Patrick, I don’t think wumbo is a real word.
Patrick: C’mon, you know. I wumbo. You wumbo. He/she/we wumbo.
What Are Your Favorite Funny Spongebob Quotes?
We hope you enjoyed our list of funny Spongebob quotes. Were there any that we missed? Let us know on social media!