26 Hilarious Ben Wyatt Quotes From Parks And Recreation

Ben Wyatt is our favorite neurotic nerd from NBC's Parks and Recreation. Played by Adam Scott, Ben Wyatt was one of the best additions to the show's lineup of unique characters.

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Best Ben Wyatt Quotes

Ben Wyatt Quotes

Ben Wyatt is our favorite neurotic calzone-loving nerd from NBC’s Parks and Recreation. Played by Adam Scott, Ben Wyatt was one of the best additions to the show’s lineup of unique characters.

He is also a great contrast to his love interest, Leslie Knope. While Leslie is very intelligent, many of her decisions are based on emotion and enthusiasm. She is also very good with people. On the other hand, Ben is often shown to be shy, frugal, and business-minded.

Here are our favorite Ben Wyatt quotes from Parks and Recreation. If we missed any of your favorites, let us know on social media!

RELATED: 42 Best Ron Swanson Quotes From Parks and Recreation

The Best Ben Wyatt Quotes


1. “They call me the Swiss Army accountant.”

2. “No, of course, yeah. I’ll just put on my Star Wars pajamas and sit in my mom’s basement and pour over some spreadsheets. It sounds great.”

3. “I don’t even have time to tell you how wrong you are. Actually, it’s gonna bug me if I don’t.”

4. “Nerd culture is mainstream now! So when you use the word ‘nerd’ derogatorily, that means that you’re the one that’s out of the zeitgeist!”

RELATED: 8 Quotes That Show Leslie Knope’s Love For Ann Perkins


5. “The calzones…betrayed me?!?”

6. “No, that’s Buckingham Palace. Hogwarts is fictional. You do know that, don’t you? It’s important to me that you know that.”

7. “Gotham needs me.”


8. “Pies are just sweet calzones.”

9. “I have been kinda tense lately. Just thinking about the new Star Wars sequel. I’m worried they’ll rely too heavily on GHI and I’m carrying it all in my shoulders.”

10. “Pizza is your grandfather’s calzone.”

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11. “Baba Booey”

12. “…is she going to powder her vagina?”

13. (After sending April and Andy to the store) “There’s a 30% chance they’ll both die.”

14. Ben: You know what? I’m gonna go with the first place, I really love that appetizer.
Chris: The mini calzone?
Ben: I wouldn’t call it that. It was more like a savory pastry. A delicate little dough pocket filled with tomato sauce, cheese, and seasoned meat. Just a stunning culinary innovation.


15. “Chris? I’m dying.”

16. Donna: What is wrong with you today? Did they cancel Game of Thrones?
Ben: Nothing is wrong, just do your job…and they would never cancel Game of Thrones. It’s a crossover hit. It’s not just for fantasy enthusiasts, they’re telling human stories in a fantasy world!

17. “First of all, why does everyone in this down use Alta Vista? Is it 1997?”

18. “If I thought you were serious I’d be offended, Perd, but I know that we’re buddies and I know you wouldn’t do that to me. But, no, this is a birthmark Perd! This is the little scar I got when I was 9 and I fell off my bike. So, no! I’m not perfect!”

19. “More like Turd Crapley.”


20. The Douche: So, how you linking Pawnee?
Ben: There are lot of…cars…I mean not too many….trucks and stuff, but, uh, you know.

21. “Thanks a lot, bro…sorry.”

22. “Is there a bird in here? I swear I keep seeing a bird in the studio.”

23. “I’m not afraid of cops. I have no reason to be, I never break any laws ever…because I’m deathly afraid of cops.”

24. “Mo’ money, mo’ problems that what I always say.”

25. April: Are you busy? And writing Star Trek fan fiction does not count.
Ben: Ha. Ha…I…I finished it last week. What’s going on?

26. “Talkin’ bout the highway to the calzone-zone.”

What Are Your Favorite Ben Wyatt Quotes?

We hope you enjoyed this list of the best Ben Wyatt Quotes. Were there any that we missed? Let us know on social media!

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